Positive as can be.

I decided to listen this time around. I had my answer, and whether or not it made complete sense to me was irrelevant. I’ve seen over and over and over again how turning my life over to my Father in Heaven is really the smartest way to go. He can make more of my life than I can.

Matt and I were blessed beyond blessed to get pregnant right away. As I’ve become more aware of all those around me, I now more fully realize what a miracle this really is. There are countless women everywhere, more deserving and desirous, that are unable to experience this blessing.

I had taken a few pregnancy tests throughout the week because I “had a feeling”. All of them came out negative. I decided to give it one more go later on in the week-- after all, there was one test left. I took the test. When I saw the positive sign, I was in complete shock. Matt and I were thrilled. We shared a special moment together as we contemplated briefly what this meant for our lives. Of course, we had absolutely no idea what was ahead of us, but we felt an over surging joy that we will never forget.

I called my parents immediately. I’m the worst at keeping secrets. They were asleep (it was close to midnight their time). My dad answered the phone about 7 rings in. He was completely out of it, but I blurted the news to him anyway. He handed the phone to my mom (also very out of it), and I shared with her the exciting news.

I kind of floated around for the next few days. I couldn’t sleep. I woke up constantly, feeling my stomach, and trying to remember whether or not this was reality or just a dream. It’s funny to think of both Matt and I then. We were and still are so very clueless. In so many ways, I feel like I’m still a kid and that having a baby is only what grown-ups do. Then I remember I’m there. I’m a grown-up. I’m at that point. And I’m having a baby.